Ground Zero

Three months ago, my life changed in what seemed like an instant, but was really a long time coming.

I was eating my usual Multigrain Cheerios with almond milk. Shortly after finishing my breakfast, I felt off. I was standing in my friend's apartment, talking to them, when I noticed I was jittery and weak. As a chronically ill person, I wasn't overly alarmed beyond my usual medical anxiety. But I noticed my lips were tingly --this was new. Upon glancing down, I realized that there was a small rash on my hand. What????

And then I had to poop. Like, really bad.

I was crampy all over. Little did I know, I would experience this again several times before finally figuring out what the heck I was reacting to. At first, I assumed it was almonds; my brother has had an almond allergy his whole life. It seemed the most obvious culprit. But a week later, when I ate those same Cheerios with nut-free rice milk, I wasn't so convinced. This time, the rash was replaced with incessant all-over itching, but every other symptom was the same. Knowing that this met the criteria of anaphylaxis, I gulped and went about my day.

That afternoon, I was perusing one of the grocery stores in my neighbourhood. After leaving, I suddenly couldn't find my phone in my bag. OH NO I MUST HAVE LOST IT THIS IS TERRIBLE!!! So, I sprinted up the escalator and started darting around the market. Eventually, I did actually find my phone in my bag. Thank GOD. But as soon as I calmed down, I felt shaky, but ... cold. At first I figured I must have tuckered myself out, so I sat on the floor. But minutes turned into an hour, and the shivers continued.

At this point, I was visibly shaking. I knew that my blood pressure must have dropped, but I attributed it to hunger. So I drank my lemonade and chewed my Harvest Snaps.

No improvement.

Then, suddenly, it hurt to breathe. At least I was still breathing, right? At that point, I realized I must have been having a biphasic reaction, AKA Anaphylaxis Round Two. I later discovered this was probably triggered by the cardio I just did searching for my precious smart phone. I called one of my best friends to walk me out of the building. He (rightfully so) tried to convince me to go to the hospital, but I refused. Phobias are weird, my friends. Instead, I struggled to breathe for several days while I somewhat managed to go on with my pedestrian life.

Several days? Doesn't an allergic reaction only last a few hours at most? Well, not when you're allergic to corn. Did I mention it's in EVERYTHING? If you're corn-allergic, you know. I was continuing to consume all manner of corn without knowing it. Even when I figured out I was allergic to corn, I was in deep denial for at least a week. But I love corn! And it's in everything!

After a month of only being able to eat carrots, apples, and potatoes, I decided to try corn on the cob, straight. Oops. On came the jitters, the itching, the pooping. Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

Allergy testing was no help. At first, the allergist agreed that I must be having a "true allergy", known in science as an IgE-mediated, type I hypersensitivity reaction. But then, my results were unclear. For my first test, I was tested for the top ten food and environmental allergens, respectively. That's 22 little skin pricks in total; they also poke you with pure saline (negative control sample) and histamine, the chemical that triggers a reaction in everyone (positive control sample). My skin seemed pretty unbothered by all of them, except the histamine. I developed a red flare, but no itch or bump. It was still marked as a successful test, though. I mean, I guess . . .

It should be noted that I was on 1000 mg of vitamin C at this time. Vitamin C, in high enough doses, does many fabulous things for the body, particularly if you have fragile connective tissue like me. Not only does it help the body recover from oxidative stress, it also can act as a mast-cell stabilizer. Before quitting gluten and dairy, I didn't seem to have a lot of symptoms of Mast Cell Activation Syndrome, but it was on my radar as it's known to appear as a part of Ehlers-Danlos. My chronic inflammation was apparently just masking my acute sensitivities. Anyway, I did mention to this allergist that I was on C, but he thought nothing of it.

I returned for additional testing for corn, salmon (I had pretty bad anaphylaxis to seasoned salmon, too), and even a solution of crushed-up Multigrain Cheerios. My skin had teeny weeny little bumps next to each one, which I assumed were from the actually pricking itself. My allergist also made this assumption. I had a very slight itchy flare from the histamine, but it had mostly disappeared by the time he took a look at my arm and declared the test a success, and my results negative. It was then that I started to notice that there was no bump from the saline prick. Hmm. In order to diagnose a positive result, the patient should have a wheal of at least a few millimetres. Even to the histamine, I had none.

Of course, at this point, the doctor was convinced that my reactions were purely psychosomatic. But my gut was telling me otherwise. Literally.

A few days later, I researched "vitamin c effects allergy skin test". Expecting to find an obscure study or two, I instead came across a plethora of allergists' and immunologists' websites stating DO NOT TAKE VITAMIN C SEVERAL DAYS BEFORE TESTING --as it can cause false negatives. Seriously, look it up. Apparently, you are also supposed to wait at least six weeks since consuming the allergen to get accurate results. This was not the case for me, either, 'cause hello! Corn is in. Everything.

Luckily, I live in Canada and these tests cost me no money. They did, however, cost me time, energy, and self-confidence. My allergist's conclusions left me confused and humiliated. My naturopath, however, understood. "I don't know why they still do those tests, anyway. They're outdated. We have way more accurate technology, now!" As someone who hates blood draws, I see the skin prick appeal, but she was right.

I still haven't gone for additional testing. For starters, I am a big traumatized baby who is terrified of medical intervention. Also, it's expensive. I suppose I could ask my family doctor for IgE blood testing, but testing for food intolerances is up to me and my wallet. And trust me, it's a pretty flimsy wallet. Every time I try something new, I just (try not to) hold my breath and hope I don't die or something. At least I have an EpiPen in case it gets real.

Right now, this leaves me living off of potatoes, sweet potatoes, and zucchini. I lost carrots, though I could probably add them back. I lost grapes to torturous itching. I lost chicken to 9-out-of-10-pain diarrhea --seriously, I had to meditate to get through hours of it. I've also lost soap, shampoo, toothepaste, and deodorant.

I'm basically at Ground Zero. Where do I go from here?

They say "everything happens for a reason", and I'm prone to believing it, myself. Yes, this corn allergy sucks. Yes, I've lost over 25 pounds in three months. Yes, my armpits stink a little because I haven't tested any alternatives to deodorant yet. But if I didn't have such an acute reaction, I would have kept trying to nourish my body with absolute garbage. Don't get me wrong, I loved that garbage --it tasted and smelled great, it was convenient, it was cheap. These are all important factors when you're disabled and poor. But it was making me sicker by the minute. My teeth were falling apart, I had -200 level energy, and boy was I MOODY. Maybe the most debilitating of all was my endometriosis.

For those of you that don't know, endometriosis is when uterine-like tissue is present outside the uterus, and also contracts during your monthly flow. Hence, extremely painful periods can ensue. By the way, if you have EDS, and you have a uterus, you probably (definitely) have endo.

Eventually, my endo didn't just affect me on my period anymore. It was impeding my quality of life with constant nausea, fevers, severe bloating, aching skin from head to toe, and an inability to have any ~intimate relations~ at all. But now after eliminating almost all corn, my endo barely bothers me. My last period was still quite painful, but only for about an hour or two. I haven't had another cycle yet, but stay tuned.

This allergy is forcing me to learn what is actually good for my body.

Yes, corn is in everything. Just google "corn allergen list" to get an idea, if you don't have one already. Therefore, I have to buy the purest ingredients and make most items for myself, by myself. But this means I am developing a relationship with the Earth that has long been abandoned by colonialism. As a white person of English heritage, I acknowledge the ways white supremacy favours me, and the ways it makes me sicker. I denounce both.

I think of my pre-colonial heritage. Indigenous people of Turtle Island (known as North America) lived with this land long before my colonizer ancestors stole it. Any relationship I enter with the land I'm living on is as an intruder. Whatever wisdom I gain while here is not new.

This is all the more reason to minimize my footprint. Somewhere along the blood line, my ancestors abandoned ecological relationship for ecological ownership. So, I've gotta travel backwards. I've gotta find out how my people engaged with the land that I'm from, but also be mindful that that's not the space I currently occupy.

My corn allergy is a call to live like a witch: ethically, naturally, magically.

Now, feel free to join me as I figure out how the heck to make hand sanitizer out of aloe gel and tea tree oil.






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